Las Aventuras en el Abismo Estrecho

Adventures on the Narrow Straights:
an analysis of the stretched abyss

19.6.11

"I prefer to do psycho than vulnerable"

Like running on a single engine, you let yourself turn something off. "Defensive" - the word you don't like to hear but that describes that I'm doing exactly. Defenses. Fences. An open wound you'd kill to protect... but the wound is created by what you want to kill... chasing your own tail?
Chronic foot-in-mouth disease. I just read that in an article describing Sarah Palin - however I feel I've got it as well. That single engine seems to make me into a different person. Snappy, insecure. Saying things to try to hold footing, and then you're actually standing on a hole. Insecurity - it's all mental really anyway, however you think that it's something concrete - physical - removable.
It's like a painting by Rothko. No real anchor... just lots and lots of feeling and colour and intensity. What do you hold on to? The frame just acts as a limitation - in reality you should just enjoy the absence of a stronghold. But what are you, really, mauvish pinkish red? Who do you want to be, off white greyish pale? Where do you think you're going, deep blue turqouise ultramarine black? If you were just a solid colour, a red, a black, a white... Mondriaan style... then you'd be sure. The frame would fit around you, and make sense.